I imagine this is an incredibly clichéd opinion of a very clichéd 18 year old girl, but when I look around me, it’s all a blur. There are no solid colours. It’s all a bright light world and I’m spinning around and around and around and around and around and hoping I can stop to embrace some still picture. It doesn’t stop though, it keeps on going, on and on, the world does not stop. The problems blurring your vision don’t stop to let you sit and figure out how to stop them. They keep on spinning you, pushing into you, taking your breath and thought process so much that you end up spinning into some place you never wanted to be. Your picture shouldn’t be like this but you can’t change it, you just have to look at it every single day.
I want to apologise for my last two really shitty and pointless entries, I know I’ve been neglecting you but I can’t help it. My brain has turned into a coursework shaped mush; I have a pseudo love life with Cas that stops me from progressing or even bothering to look for other people; and I’ve been ridiculously ill, you know, one of those coughy/mucusy/throaty/snotty things. Not hot. Oh and my laptop briefly broke, that wasn’t hot either. I was literally like this:
“Work. Now.”
So I’m going to ignore complaining about my coursework and my various diseases and get straight to the sexy bits. Don’t fret though dear reader; I will still be complaining.
My pseudo boyf/human dilator/sex buddy/general love life distractor Cas has become more of a regular thing now, verified by the fact that his parents now think we’re on the verge of being together. To be perfectly honest; I’d rather they think that than “oh that nice girl A came round to use our son as a human dilator again so she can recover from Vaginismus” which is also the same reason my usually well informed mother needs to know nothing about this little faux thang. Yeah I just said ‘thang’.
We have formed this very odd relationship, if anything he has pushed me into heartless bitch territory; completely rejecting any remotely ‘I’m falling for you’/sweet thing he says. He’s known from the beginning what this has been about. Originally it was pure lust and the thrill of something new and flirty and distracting, now it’s simply two sexy friends helping each other out; him helping me with V and me helping him get over his ex girlfriend.
These objectives in question; have been achieved to a 50% standard. I’ve had less need for dilators and the pain levels have lowered a little bit, which is my personal goal. He however is still pretty torn up over this girl; I feel like I haven’t fulfilled my purpose, and considering how well he’s holding up his end of the bargain; like I’ve failed him.
I might have to amp up the seductive; give him something worth paying attention to. In other words:
Stay Distracted
xAx
i like this ALOT
ReplyDeleteguess who.
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ReplyDeleteHowever Cas feels about you, whether it's romantic or not, it sounds like your relationship is a good example of symbiosis, even though I cracked a smile at the "human dilator" comment, heh.
ReplyDeleteI'd agree that you should probably pump up the seductive charm that we all know you've got in spades - give him something to look at as well as something to touch, and hopefully something to think about!
Essentially him getting over his ex is something that he needs to put some effort into doing himself, and if you're doing all you can to help him then that's not failure. Believe me, I know what it's like to be torn up over a girl. At least with you he has a good aid to recovery. Probably one of the best!
Keep it up, A.
Oh, to be 18 again myself, knowing what I know now...
I will keep that in mind ILB, the red lipstick and slutty tights will be out in full force!
ReplyDeleteThank you for the advice darling.
xAx
MWAHAHAHAHAHA!
ReplyDeleteI recently found something funny on Youtube. It was the October 19, 2007 episode of The Young Turks hosted by Cenk Uygur.
The episode title is "Listen To Oral Roberts Talk About Sex"
It is about the TV evangelist named Oral Roberts and his deluded, narrow-minded views on sex.
To watch that episode, go to:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61_rPgitFmc
Oral Roberts is hilarious! So OUTLANDISH!
He's against oral sex??? ROFLMAO.
I believe there is NOTHING WRONG with oral sex and anal sex if done by healthy/clean couples.
...As for masturbation, I still believe that a woman is not a complete woman if she never tried vaginal masturbation. Of course, clitoral masturbation is also important (to stimulate lubrication) but it ain't complete without doing vaginal insertion.
It educates her about the true sexual functions of her genitals.
If a man can stroke his penis with his hand, then a woman should insert her fingers into her vagina. It teaches women how to use their vagina.
If she doesn't know how to do it, then sex is NOT for her. She may end up experiencing the following:
1.) Primary Vaginismus
2.) Dry Vagina
3.) Thick Hymen
...or she may have a nun's vagina, unwilling vagina or God's Vaginal Lock. God owns her vagina to control the population.
HEY! At least my comments are NOT NEARLY as crazy as Oral Roberts' crazy ramblings.
Oral Roberts versus Oral Sex????
HAHAHAHAHAHA. That just made the laugh of my day.
Primary Vaginismus.
ReplyDeleteIf you have it, then your body is NOT designed for sex.
It is God's way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate.
So if you have it, go on and BECOME A NUN.
Or be CELIBATE.
That's because it is God's way of controlling the global population. God created women with such sexual dysfunction to keep them away from sex and thus preventing conception. Unfortunately, most women don't realize it and would still go through days and weeks of therapy which is just time consuming.
Trying to remedy your condition is against God's will.
God does NOT want you to have sex.
If your a woman, don't get married & don't have sex if your VAGINA wont let you.
God had CLOSED the gates of your virginity.
FACE IT! You have a NUN'S VAGINA.
It is time to give up on men and become a NUN.
VAGINISMUS may be the answer to overpopulation.
God truly works in strange ways.
I am now an enlightened man.