I want to apologise for the extremely long time since my last post, this is due to the lack of anything substantial currently happening in my love life. When I say substantial I mean anything involving sex or emotion, as random drunken snogs are not particularly blog-worthy.
I would like to renounce my claim to be a sex blogger on the grounds that I have become a celibate, pre-uni hermit. Well, Jake Holden from Facts and Friction made the point that I’m actually a sex DEFECT blogger but whatever…
It feels like the weird holiday limbo between Christmas and New Year, like you don’t really know what you’re meant to be doing but feel like you should be doing something. It feels like that but on a ridiculous scale, this feeling confuses me and turns me into this:
In the words of Dusty Springfield: I just don’t know what to do with myself.
It’s nice to think that a new chapter of my life is just around the corner, as cheesy as that sounds. 13 DAYS! And I promise to do a lot more blog worthy things to make up for this typographical draught. A nice part of leaving is the no holds barred binge that occurs when no one longer gives a shit about what they say or who they do, however snogs are too boring and numerous to write about.
So I’ve just been sat here at my desk (to be read as ‘sat upright in bed’) watching Dexter, facebook stalking ex-boyfriends and online shopping for underwear, that at this rate; no one is going to have the pleasure of seeing.
Actually, fuck it. Here you go; me in my pants. You, dear reader, are now my sex life. Good luck and God speed.
Stay Sexy
xAx
The back draft of your blog says:
ReplyDelete"Living with and attempting to overcome vaginismus as a sex-craving nineteen year old; learning about the upsides and pitfalls of love, sex and all that mess in between."
The back draft should be:
"Living with vaginismus while pretending to be a sex-craving nineteen year old; about to suffer the pitfalls of hell for violating a nun's vagina."
You've been warned, Alura. Stop being pretentious. The mere fact that you still have vaginismus proves that you're meant to be celibate to control the population.
God have mercy on your soul for violating your nun's vagina.
awwwwh so nice xoxoxo
ReplyDeleteCan't you block this odious troll? You've got more patience than me x
ReplyDeleteI'm not here to troll people.
ReplyDeleteI'm here to enlighten people and show them the righteous path.
We only have two destinations: Heaven and Hell.
Her private area is so SACRED that it should not be touched by any man.
To God be the glory.
Actually, the kind of Christianity you are purporting also contains the concept of purgatory, and also perhaps limbo... as you refer to nuns.
ReplyDeleteNuns are a Catholic concept, and the Catholic Church preaches the existence of limbo (between heaven and earth) and purgatory (between earth and hell), so you're actually telling an accidental lie here by only mentioning the two extremes. The Bible says that "all liars" will suffer "the second death" in hell (Rev 21:8), so perhaps you should enlighten yourself first?
Interestingly, that passage doesn't list people with vaginismus as being on the path to hell, but maybe you're reading a different translation?
Love and kisses,
> ILB ~ a Christian sex blogger, for sure.
Allura! Your entire sex life is a LIE.
ReplyDeletePlease abandon your imaginary sexual cravings and follow your destiny (nunnery or celibacy).
I'm now enlightened by the fact that God is a male and treats some women as his property to control the population (by inflicting them with painful intercourse).
So get real, Allura.
Stop lying to yourself.
Two things:
ReplyDeleteYou get some crazy commenters.
You look as hot as you read!
Maypaki. No-one here wants to engage with your one-sided argument, and you don't want to engage with us. You are a troll.
ReplyDeleteIf there is a God, we'll go to hell and that's fine. in the meantime, fuck off back to church.
Having just googled this motherfucker's email address, I've got a few more things to say to him actually. I'd email him but I think everyone should realise what this trolling prick has been doing.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said before, I don't believe in God. Or gods. If there is one, however, I'm sure I'll be fine as I live my life by a set of principles and morals which guide me to treat people as well as they deserve, usually better, and do not require a belief in an unprovable omnipotent higher fucking power in order to apply.
How do you think it makes a fucking nineeen-year-old girl feel to log onto her own personal blog and see ridiculous, bible-bashing abuse from you on a weekly basis?
Let's get something straight.
The majority of enlightened, right-thinking people DO NOT BELIEVE IN GOD. We live in the 21st century. There is no place for God, ghosts, homeoopathy, psychics, mediums and any other bullshit mumbo-jumbo from the dark ages.
Vaginismus is a condition which has nothing to do with the actions of its sufferer or of some ridiculous 'population controlling God'. If god was that interesting in population control, send the motherfucker to China. They've had to implement a law to prevent families having multiple children, that's how bad it is. Do you not think he'd be better off focussing his energies over there? Giving 90% of chinese women vaginismus would solve the problem overnight by your twisted logic.
or does God hate communists or something? Never had him down as a voracious conservative but I guess it takes all sorts.
If there is a God - as i said, highly unlikely - He will probably send you to hell for being such a horrible little cunt to people, hiding behind a screen name, on the internet.What if he turns out to be a girl? Oh, mate, you are fucked then. Sister solidarity. You've been trolling blog posts about young women who suffer from conditions like vaginismus JUST to shove your religious bullshit down their proverbial throats. Googling blogs on the condition specifically in order to go and upset the brave people who write them?
Seriously dude, what the hell is wrong with you?
If you honestly believe in Heaven and Hell and purgatory and all that other ridiculous bullshit invented to explain to people philosophical concepts like the meaning of existence and what happens when you die (not to mention, keep the population in line) keep that shit to yourself. Don't try and "save" people. It just makes you look, y'know, sort of like a bit of a prick.
As I said on your blog earlier, Jesus may indeed love you - but everyone else thinks you're a cunt. Give it a rest, yeah?
I am a man and I Googling blogs about Vaginismus, not to upset people, but to defend women's vaginal rights:
ReplyDelete1.) Right to refuse intercourse.
2.) Right to self-lubricate
3.) Right to masturbate
If women have the right to say no, then so does their vaginas.
Women's rights are divided into two distinctive
categories:
1.) Women's individual rights
2.) Vaginal rights (mandated by God)
There is no God. What do you have to say about that?
ReplyDeleteI also have had vaginismus (but have since been cured). This Maypaki guy also tried to attack me as well on my blog. I would suggest blocking him.
ReplyDeleteOn a side note- I hope that you can too be cured from your vaginismus! What treatment methods have you been trying/tried?
waitingwamplers? Who the heck are you and how did you know me?
ReplyDeleteI don't even remember you. If you've been "cured", then you are worse than Alura.
You've deliberately violated God's plan for you.
Alura, PLEASE! Keep you legs together. Protect your NUN'S VAGINA. Intercourse is NOT for you.
Vaginismus = God's population control.
I believe that the post has perfect collection of words and a well research. Its awesome! Thanks for sharing. Waiting for next.
ReplyDeleteHey! Alura. You only have two destinations. Either you receive God's salvation by following your destiny (nunnery or celibacy) or suffer in Hell.
ReplyDeleteI am here to defend Alura's VAGINAL RIGHTS:
1.) Right to refuse intercourse.
2.) Right to self-lubricate
3.) Right to masturbate
If women have the right to say no, then so does their vaginas. Some women do not own their vaginas because God owns them for population control.
Unfortunately, Alura is violating her own vaginal rights, thus bringing her closer to Hell than ever before.