A Relatively Conclusive Post

Boy Next Door: I felt it was about time I re-introduced myself. I've read the new post, and I've been watching the blog recently to see if anything would pop up, and it did.

I suppose I should start with an apology, I'm sorry for not speaking to you for a while. I have my reasons. As you knew, I liked you, I'd built up hopes, and then they disappeared, and this was my way of dealing with it. I trust you understand the self-destructive thoughts you end up thinking when you dwell on someone you like, who, for whatever reason, doesn't like you. So that's why I've not spoken to you, because I don't want to get any feelings/hopes back again.

Secondly. It's a big co-incidence. Today I thought about speaking to you, just out of the blue, but I didn't get the opportunity I wanted, you were always busy speaking to people, or I had stuff that needed doing. So I though I'd text you. But after reading the blog I thought I ought to explain myself and this is way too long for a text.

I'll not ramble on any more. But just know, I don't blame you, don't feel guilty. X 

A: I'm glad you've reintroduced yourself :) I wasn't really sure what to say in the blog post but I thought it was about time The Boy Next Door was given an explanation.
I'm going to be honest, I didn't know how much you liked me, and I did actually like you, however the last few months have changed my perspective on affection. I don't want anything with anyone. I was interested in you as a replacement for Cas.
You liked me, I needed someone to have sex with. It wouldn't have been fair to treat you like that. I would never want to be in that sort of situation and I wouldn't conscientiously be able to put someone in that position.
I hope my fuck ups haven't completely destroyed our friendship, I felt comfortable enough with you to tell you about everything that's wrong with me but took advantage of you; using my disorder as an excuse to be a bitch. What I did was out of order and I'm really sorry for everything Boy Next Door. x

Boy Next Door: I wasn't in love of anything like that, it was nothing major, it was more just the glimmer of hope I had been waiting for. And haha, it is a shame the circumstances it really is! As I've said before..

And what annoyed me wasn't so much the way you treated me, I've had worse. More the hope. x