Cheating has been plaguing my mind recently. Maybe I’ve started to think that the shittyness I’ve put up with the last few months has been because of my own past discrepancies.( I’ll get to a few of these later)
Karma for the excitement seekers. Dirty little secrets are messy little things.
Now don’t go thinking I’m a massive relationship ruining pro-adulterous slut, I have a rule with cheating; happily ruin your own relationships, but do not knowingly ruin other people’s.
In my experience it is often the case that you can be in a relationship for the comfort and familiarity but also be seeking the excitement and butterflies of something new and daring.
We treasure these two feelings, no matter how much they clash. You pass the lust stage of the relationship; it slowly morphs into a slow, soothing kind of feeling. I’ve been told that this is love.
What if you can’t keep these two feelings? Good relationships are said to have both, but what if they don’t? Does that mean you should end the love for the lust? I did not, I ended mixing the two. A swirly cocktail of drunken romps at the bottoms of gardens then returning home to my beloved, safe and sound.
The problem I found with having a parallel world of debauchery, desire and dirty little secrets is that it’s hard to keep that world separate from reality of family dinners, going to the cinema and spending sober nights in. I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad reality. Often it’s quite a nice little relationship bubble. I’m just saying that having a dirty mistress allows for thrill; we thrive on thrill, and hormones, don’t forget the hormones. Even if you’re not in a relationship, the thrill is still there. Dirty little secrets make the world go round, they keep us going. And coming.
My brief mistress was Charlie (named this because he looked like a fit version of Charlie Simpson from Busted); bloody gorgeous, head boy, rugby build and a shocking amount in common with me. I met him before I met Ben, and was doing all that texting/flirting/snogging lark with both of them for about two months. Then things started getting a bit more serious with Ben; who had the upper hand of being in the same friend groups and just generally being around a lot more. So I stopped talking to Charlie as much…without much explanation… to be honest it was a bit of a shitty thing to do, but he turned out to be a prick anyway, so I feel less bad now! But I feel like some thought should be given to the mistresses themselves; whether it’s a one night thing or a prolonged fling it’s probably just as hard on the mistress as it is on anyone else... Charlie, at every opportunity, jumped on the ‘dump Ben for me’ wagon, always trying seduce me in drunken states. It worked once, I won’t get into that bit though, but it was exciting; and when it comes to guys, I enjoy the attention more than I love the love itself. Charlie wanted me, Ben was content. I’m not trying to justify my actions, I personally think it was an awful thing for me to do to Ben. But when someone adores you like Charlie made me believe he did, and your laced with blends of Vodka and Lambrini, it’s incredibly hard to resist. No matter which way your moral compass points.
My friend, who shall remain nameless, can be put into this category; she was a dirty mistress, but still an amazing person. The things we do for lust. In her case it turned into a one sided and destructive love, with emotionally destructive set of consequences:
“Well, it’s fun, but it’s not. It’s awful at the same time; the fact that they’re always going to go back to someone else is what’s not fun. And that they prefer the other person. It’s always on their terms, the cheater is in charge. But the very worst thing is when the mistress actually really likes the cheater, I think in most cases it means more to the mistress than the other person. Well, in my case it does definitely.”
So we all tend to go straight to the ‘what a slut’ perspective when we hear about friends being cheated on, spouse’s having affairs or discovering our boyfriend’s secret lover. I’m not exempting myself from this; Little Double Slut is still a Little Double Slut, I still confuse myself when trying to figure out what I was doing with Charlie and still feel a huge surge of guilt when anyone mentions cheating.
Me: I don’t know whether you’ve been hearing the same rumours as me, but I’m not going to start on you at [insert mate’s name]’s party. I was actually going to thank you for making me realise what a prick Mark is before I got in too deep with him; he knew exactly who you were and exactly what you meant to me and got with you anyway, so it’s probably a good thing that we completely ended because of it. I also wanted to apologise for all the abuse you were getting, you didn’t know Ben had a girlfriend and it was his fault for not telling you that.
I was planning on saying this to you on Friday, but I’m not sure if I’m going now, I just thought considering I’m moving on from both disasters that were Ben and Mark I might as well at least attempt to clear the air with you.
Little Double Slut: Thank you for understanding. I am sorry about what happened, I didn't intentionally mean to hurt you, and honestly didn't know about your situation with either of them. The abuse was inevitable really, i get your friends would hate me; you have no need to apologise. And well if that's right I'm sorry he used me to try and hurt you. I’m really sorry for the trouble I caused!
So yes, do feel pity for the ‘what a slut’s of the world; they are sluts, but some of them aren’t bad people. They shouldn’t be treated like bad people because they made a bad call, no matter how twatty it was.
Unless they are just doing it to deliberately piss you off; in that case, break their fucking legs.
xAx
Karma for the excitement seekers. Dirty little secrets are messy little things.
Now don’t go thinking I’m a massive relationship ruining pro-adulterous slut, I have a rule with cheating; happily ruin your own relationships, but do not knowingly ruin other people’s.
In my experience it is often the case that you can be in a relationship for the comfort and familiarity but also be seeking the excitement and butterflies of something new and daring.
We treasure these two feelings, no matter how much they clash. You pass the lust stage of the relationship; it slowly morphs into a slow, soothing kind of feeling. I’ve been told that this is love.
What if you can’t keep these two feelings? Good relationships are said to have both, but what if they don’t? Does that mean you should end the love for the lust? I did not, I ended mixing the two. A swirly cocktail of drunken romps at the bottoms of gardens then returning home to my beloved, safe and sound.
The problem I found with having a parallel world of debauchery, desire and dirty little secrets is that it’s hard to keep that world separate from reality of family dinners, going to the cinema and spending sober nights in. I’m not saying this is necessarily a bad reality. Often it’s quite a nice little relationship bubble. I’m just saying that having a dirty mistress allows for thrill; we thrive on thrill, and hormones, don’t forget the hormones. Even if you’re not in a relationship, the thrill is still there. Dirty little secrets make the world go round, they keep us going. And coming.
My brief mistress was Charlie (named this because he looked like a fit version of Charlie Simpson from Busted); bloody gorgeous, head boy, rugby build and a shocking amount in common with me. I met him before I met Ben, and was doing all that texting/flirting/snogging lark with both of them for about two months. Then things started getting a bit more serious with Ben; who had the upper hand of being in the same friend groups and just generally being around a lot more. So I stopped talking to Charlie as much…without much explanation… to be honest it was a bit of a shitty thing to do, but he turned out to be a prick anyway, so I feel less bad now! But I feel like some thought should be given to the mistresses themselves; whether it’s a one night thing or a prolonged fling it’s probably just as hard on the mistress as it is on anyone else... Charlie, at every opportunity, jumped on the ‘dump Ben for me’ wagon, always trying seduce me in drunken states. It worked once, I won’t get into that bit though, but it was exciting; and when it comes to guys, I enjoy the attention more than I love the love itself. Charlie wanted me, Ben was content. I’m not trying to justify my actions, I personally think it was an awful thing for me to do to Ben. But when someone adores you like Charlie made me believe he did, and your laced with blends of Vodka and Lambrini, it’s incredibly hard to resist. No matter which way your moral compass points.
My friend, who shall remain nameless, can be put into this category; she was a dirty mistress, but still an amazing person. The things we do for lust. In her case it turned into a one sided and destructive love, with emotionally destructive set of consequences:
“Well, it’s fun, but it’s not. It’s awful at the same time; the fact that they’re always going to go back to someone else is what’s not fun. And that they prefer the other person. It’s always on their terms, the cheater is in charge. But the very worst thing is when the mistress actually really likes the cheater, I think in most cases it means more to the mistress than the other person. Well, in my case it does definitely.”
So we all tend to go straight to the ‘what a slut’ perspective when we hear about friends being cheated on, spouse’s having affairs or discovering our boyfriend’s secret lover. I’m not exempting myself from this; Little Double Slut is still a Little Double Slut, I still confuse myself when trying to figure out what I was doing with Charlie and still feel a huge surge of guilt when anyone mentions cheating.
Me: I don’t know whether you’ve been hearing the same rumours as me, but I’m not going to start on you at [insert mate’s name]’s party. I was actually going to thank you for making me realise what a prick Mark is before I got in too deep with him; he knew exactly who you were and exactly what you meant to me and got with you anyway, so it’s probably a good thing that we completely ended because of it. I also wanted to apologise for all the abuse you were getting, you didn’t know Ben had a girlfriend and it was his fault for not telling you that.
I was planning on saying this to you on Friday, but I’m not sure if I’m going now, I just thought considering I’m moving on from both disasters that were Ben and Mark I might as well at least attempt to clear the air with you.
Little Double Slut: Thank you for understanding. I am sorry about what happened, I didn't intentionally mean to hurt you, and honestly didn't know about your situation with either of them. The abuse was inevitable really, i get your friends would hate me; you have no need to apologise. And well if that's right I'm sorry he used me to try and hurt you. I’m really sorry for the trouble I caused!
So yes, do feel pity for the ‘what a slut’s of the world; they are sluts, but some of them aren’t bad people. They shouldn’t be treated like bad people because they made a bad call, no matter how twatty it was.
Unless they are just doing it to deliberately piss you off; in that case, break their fucking legs.
xAx
When I was a young college boy, I doubted the existence of God.
ReplyDeleteBut after I discovered Primary Vaginismus, it helped STRENGTHEN my faith in God. Finally, there is an evidence of such divine intervention - a vagina was manipulated by a HIGHER POWER for the purpose of birth control. This HIGHER POWER can inflict a woman with fear and ignorance of her own sexuality and manifested in a form of Primary Vaginismus. I am now an enlightened man.
Maypaki, shut the fuck up. A is absolutely stunning, and i'd definitely say sexy, and i want to sleep with her. In fact, i'm going to, A) cause i want to B) to report back to you.
ReplyDeleteHey! Mister Anonymous! If you say you want to sleep with her literally, then there is nothing wrong with it. But if that means you want to have an intercourse with her, then you must be a SADISTIC RAPIST.
ReplyDeletexAx has Primary Vaginismus -an involuntary tightening of the vaginal muscles that makes intercourse painful and impossible for her.
Penetrating her unwilling vagina is rape.
Her vagina has a will of its own because it's manipulated by God.
Rape is indeed a lack of consent. Her vagina does not give consent to any man.
She does NOT own her vagina. God owns her vagina to control the population.
She's unfit for intercourse. Maybe it's God's way of telling her that she may become a failure as a parent in the future.
Penetrative Sex is natural but it is NOT for everyone. Instead of making her infertile, God inflicts pain to test her obedience to her destiny (nunnery or celibacy).
so he would be raping God? quite the story to tell. But seriously, how do you have any idea what God intends, surely if it may be a test like you say, it could be God testing her to go through the pain to actually have children, which tbf is what he preaches more than celibacy... you're actually sick in the head, and Im pretty sure you have problems. She can do what she wants with her life, why on earth would she listen to you
ReplyDeletexAx is probably DUMB about the sexual functions of her own body.
ReplyDeleteEven if she claims to be "sexy", I still think beautiful women who masturbate (both clitoral and vaginal) are the SEXIEST.
Both clitoral and vaginal masturbation makes women more familiar with their own sexuality.
For more information, watch "Conversations with Women: Masturbation" on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0SycDAOdBc
It gives women OWNERSHIP of their body, especially their vagina.
It may actually help prevent pain.
Go to: http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20101222082336AAYD147
If a girl or woman doesn't know how to use her vagina, then she does NOT own her vagina.
God owns her and she is meant to be celibate.
If sex hurts her, then her vagina is not consenting to sex. It is called RAPE -the vagina's lack of consent.
FYI: The hymen is NOT important.
According to Wikipedia: "It is not possible to confirm with certainty that a woman is a virgin by examining her hymen"
According to health24.com:
"Anecdotal evidence also supports the idea that it's possible to tear or stretch the hymen during non-sexual strenuous activity (such as horseback riding, gymnastics, or dance) or from trauma directly to the vaginal area. There are also women whose hymen tissue is so flexible that it moves aside during penetration."
-for more details, go to http://www.health24.com/sex/Sexual_myths/1253-2447,24626.asp
Therefore, a woman should feel NO GUILT when masturbating, either in private or in front of her partner. Masturbation makes a woman discover her true SEXUAL POWERS. It may actually help her partner figure out how to please her because she already knows what feels good.
Without masturbation, God has more power over a woman's sexuality.
Primary Vaginismus maybe the result of having limited or no masturbation skills.