Drought

Counting the weeks on one hand has become difficult considering I have at most four fingers and one thumb. The amount of weeks has spread onto my second hand, a sign that screams ‘darling, look how long it’s been. You need to get laid as soon as possible’. I can barely remember the last time I felt hot lips passionately thrusting themselves upon mine, the last time fingers frantically clutched at my waist, the last time I experienced an ever long moment of pure physical lust.

All I can remember in that instance, I felt it, I liked it. I was enjoying sex and then it stopped; tasting the ripest of fruit to only have it taken away forever. Making other bites I take sour in comparison. So what did I do? I stopped biting, stopped trying, stopped tasting. Consequently I feel like I have lost my ability to seduce, to convince guys that I would be good in bed despite my disorderly shortcomings.

In Laymen’s terms: I have lost my mojo.

Well, I think I have. I feel like I have. It’s not like the opportunities haven’t arisen; I just haven’t taken them. Excuse the pun but I just don’t have it in me anymore. The fact that I have had opportunity makes me think that it’s my fault, my own doing that I haven’t had any action. I haven’t taken initiative. 

And I keep saying I need action but then suddenly when I’m in that situation; music pounding, sweat dripping, alcohol flowing, I just don’t feel it. Maybe because this is the first long period of time in a long period time that I have been well and truly single I’ve just gotten accustomed to this celibate lifestyle. Is this me CONTENT?

I’ll let you know.

Stay Sexy.

xAx

HELLO

So I’m here to apologise for the lack of new posts and to pre-empt the fact that this post shall be a load of bollocks. But you know what, I really don’t care.

I’ve been busy ok? Get over it.

I’m sorry, that was rude. How are you? WUBU2?

How did your exams go? Mine are going alrightish at the moment, I have one left which I really really really need to absolutely nail. No pressure. I’ve realised that I’m not good at exams and thanked all sorts of gods for the invention of coursework, no matter how much of a fucking pain it was at the time.

I’ve had sex once with Cas and it was a bit weird and tad awkward; mainly because I was sober. Well kind of. I drank what I thought was a substantial amount of Finlandia Mango Vodka during the day just before I went round his, turns out I’m more a heavyweight then I thought. Sobriety was firmly achieved.  I’ll probably do a more extensive post on why we haven’t had sex since this. It will be depressing and whiney but I DON’T CAAAARE.

(In other news I bought Frank Turner and Bon Iver’s new albums, which are both fucking incredible. If you enjoy good music you should definitely buy, beg or steal them.)

As you can see the combined effort of minimal sex, self-enforced learning and subsequently having no reason to leave the room in sleep in (which should really be appropriately renamed ‘The Hovel’) is causing me to rapidly turn insane. But not even the fun insane; more like the weird kind of insane that’s funny at first because they’ve gone foetal and are rocking back and forth but then it’s just sad because they don’t stop. I’M A CWAZY FUCKER.

I also have lost any form of hygiene routine; resulting in not looking in the mirror or changing out of the same pair of pyjamas for several days and finding that I look incredibly similar to this:

BUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTTTTT it’s only like 8 days until this awful draught of socialising, showering and sexing is O-V-E-R. And we all know what that means:

You better have stayed sexy whilst I’ve been away…

xAx