A reason to not have sex.

This post is another announcement, an announcement that for the next two and a bit months I’m going to be incredibly boring.

Every revision ‘crunch time’ period something comes up in my love life to emotionally crush me. I’m exaggerating; it’s happened the last two times. But this time, this time, I am completely alone. No one to hurt me; which is fucking awesome for me, but incredibly boring for you dear reader.

Sadly I am one of those awful revisers that end up developing some strange version of Attention Deficit Disorder when faced with the prospect of study leave or those depressing term holidays in which you’re advised to spend either revising or drunk. So some dramatic and often ridiculous event in my love life gives me an amazing sidebar to concentrate all my mental, emotional and physical energy into.

But come on, revision is SO FUCKING MUNDANE! And not in a mundane 'Oh I need to do this for my future, motivation station' kind of way.



It’s more of an ‘OMFG seriously I’d rather be at school right now, anything but THIS!’ kind of way. I think the visual representation of this is:



Well, I don't know about you but this is me at the end of most of my 'revision sessions'. I hate those people who are like "Oh yes I've just finished 5 hours of revision", no you haven't; you've stared into space for at least an hour of that time, texted people and posted a facebook status regarding revision had several 'brain breaks', eaten a whole tub of ice cream, played with your new shiny revision gel pens and made a timetable. 5 hours, fuck off.

But anyway, I'm sidetracking, here's the real point of this post:

I’m completely and utterly lacking a love life or even a sex life; this could go one of two ways

1.            The new and growing popularity of the blog could reverse and hit an all-time low; resulting in my constant nagging need for popularity and attention not being fulfilled and driving me crazy until I do something outlandish and inappropriate just so I can write about it.

2.            This should be seen as a sign to get on with my revision until the end of June and focus on my future. Because then I can run around the UK on a quest for human dilators all summer long knowing full well that I can get away with it because I did fine I my exams.

Hmmmm… Are you seeing an obvious choice here too..?

I think there could be potential action with one or two people if I knocked it up a notch, but I think at this point exam-wise I shouldn't encourage drama, I should in fact embrace my singularity and briefly become asexual.

I’ve got with 24 people so far this year; most of them weren't interesting enough to write about, but I feel I have filled my guy/action quota for the time being. These randomers have produced some funny anecdotes though; which I could replicate in blog post form if you get bored of revision attempts too.

So my conclusion: put all my planning, scheming and general overthinking into my studies. Revise loads and if something fun comes along then that’s fine.

Stay Studious

xAx