The Friendship Ban

“OH MY GOD PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE” is not a thing people generally want to hear coming from someone they fancy; I therefore decided that I’m better off telling you rather than screaming that statement to a certain person who is currently trying to force himself into my life. Let me explain;

I have a draft blog post titled Nice guys finish last, awesome guys finish in her revolving around the previously growing friendship with a boy suffering from a classic case of ‘nice guy syndrome’.

The Nice Guy is the guy you text when you want to feel good about yourself in a nice way (rather than a sordid way like Cas and every other Not Nice Guy that you talk to). The Nice Guy is LOVELY. One of the nicest guys I’ve ever met. Despite being horrendously fucked over and up by the girl he lost his virginity to, he manages to not be a jerk. But sadly, as the story goes for most nice guys, they are not instantly appealing. As much as I feel like I should like him; I don’t.

And I’ll tell you why I don’t: ever since I invited him to a party at my house last week, in a completely FRIENDS ONLY manner, he has become a bit.. overexcited:

1.       He sends me texts twice ‘just in case the first didn’t send’.

2.       He then sends me a facebook mail with exactly the same message since he was ‘online anyway’.

3.       Whenever I’M online and haven’t replied to attempts 1 or 2, he starts a conversation with the same message, which in most cases has been a ‘hey u k?’ type catastrophe.

4.       Once I have stopped pretending to be enthralled by his riveting conversation and haven’t replied for a good 10 minutes he pulls out the timeless ‘whoops wrong convo’ trick.

That’s why I don’t.

It's not like I even express any feelings towards him that aren't simply platonic. I really really like him (..as a friend) and as much as I want to be friends with him he won’t fucking let me JUST BE FRIENDS WITH HIM! He has this sort of platonic magnetism; you want to be friends with this guy. He’s funny, friendly, confident, everything you look for in a friend. However whatever friendly gesture I put towards him he throws back in my face along with his penis. I need to just stop being his friend, for his own good. Like screening calls, but with people. He’s having a party in the second week of August though so it would be a shame to cut him out my life before then…

Plus there’s the fact that I want to get with one of his best mates at said party.

 He may fly off the handle when this happens.

xAx

Reputation

We will be known forever by the tracks we leave.

So I got with a guy at a party who turned out to be more relevant in my town than I first thought. Now my town, let’s call it Vattsville for name’s sake. In this town everyone socially significant knows everyone socially significant. However I class myself as one of those people and did not know this person. I was very drunk and encouraged by several friends to get with this guy. Let’s call him Howl, as his All Saints t shirt had streaked across his chest those words exactly. I like a guy in All Saints, I’m not a brand racist or anything; it just seems that guys who love their All Saints and Urban Outfitters over their Ed Hardy and Superdry know what they’re doing. Fashion is as fickle as reputation. When you get it wrong, you live with the consequences for a long long time.

Anyway back to Vattsville; I was invited to a charity event last weekend which offered the prospect of a night off from the mundane activities of revision and consequently the brink of self-mutilation. Being a party animal forced into captivity by the shackles of education takes its toll on the best of us.

I walked into the ridiculously large marquee which revealed an abundance of boys and alcohol, laughing laced with the Buzzcocks’ seemingly suitable song ‘Ever Fallen in Love (with someone you shouldn’t)’ blasting through the speaker system.

“If you want a lift home you’re going to have to get with Howl” said my driver for the evening; I’d asked of Howl’s identity as soon as I had sat down, being the only face I didn’t recognise on our table. This is an incredibly rare occurrence that I didn’t know or at least know OF someone who was obviously close with a lot of my friends. After a couple of hours and more than a couple of drinks we got to talking with two other mutual friends.  Howl was funny; however this may have been because I was on my 4^th pint of Pimm’s at this point, and not my usual type (blonde AND a football player? No thanks – however give me a brunette rugby player any day of the week please) I fear the alcohol and general exam stress induced horniness may have been the reasoning behind my type shift.

I ended up getting tired of the general drunken flirting; (I am definitely that person who, when they get the signal, makes the first move simply out of boredom.) pulling him into the drinks tent and getting off with him seemed to be the best solution to this problem.

Everyone’s a lovely person when trying to pull. Many people will put on an act to get some action; I am happy to say that I am one of those people. Reputation is a funny thing, it can stop you from getting with someone but it can also keep you classy. It stops us from just getting with anyone based on looks or this fake forefront personality.

Annoyingly, no one told me of Howl’s reputation of being a fucking nutjob.  This probably a clear sign to get to know someone before I get with them; but after careful considering I’ve decided to ignore this. As you only live once. If we all gave a shit about people’s back stories then we wouldn’t have fun anecdotes such as ‘remember that time A got with a guy who turned out to be a nutjob?’. Even Cas; who has a pretty (and deservedly) bad reputation for sleeping with anything that moves. Who gives a shit, if I’d have given a shit about this I wouldn’t have had sex in 8 months; and that really isn’t acceptable.  

And what of my reputation you ask?

Stay Sexy

xAx