“I go and say hi to my friends that work here before I start my shift”
“What about me? Where’s my good morning?” I smile coyly at his question as it tumbles from his lips, onto the rain soaked concrete. I look down at it and trace his body upwards; finally meeting his eyes.
“Don’t worry; I save you for lunch”. Incredibly pleased with myself I turn to skip off to work, knowing that a line like that has never and will never again leave my mouth. I like to think I’m good at lexis on paper but wordsmithery doesn’t seem to be a naturally occurring sensation when it comes to the real world. My come backs tend to come back as swift punches to the arm or a simple ‘fuck off.
That being said, dear reader; please only use violence as a last resort. Unless they’re being a complete and utter cunt; in that case go right ahead. Give them one from me too.
Anyway back to me being briefly awesome at flirting:
“I save you for lunch…” he laughed I thought, he loved it. Now run away before he can say anything!
That was the last time I saw Fit Manager. I can’t currently think of a better or more appropriate name for him because to be honest it involves the majority of my knowledge of him. He’s the manager of the shop that I work near (Albus’ manager in fact) and he’s fit. Oh and I want to have sex with him.
You know when you just know someone’s into you? It could be the way they present themselves around you, the way they talk to you or just that way they look at you. You just know. With Fit Manager, I do not know.
I get the impression that he’s a bit of a dickhead. A fit guy with a good job is not single. And if he is; there’s a reason. Faults could include: scarred from previous relationship, serial shagger or narcissist to name a few. All amounting the most annoying of disorders; Fit Dick Syndrome.
Last week he came into my shop and said “You had better be out this weekend”. I was. Nothing happened. He went home without saying goodbye. WUT?!
All I know is that he has this sort of sexual prowess about him. Probably because he’s a couple of years older than me and I’ve been dealing with little boys for the past year. I feel quite… intimidated, but in a good way. Like a thrill. Guys my age have been getting boring for a while now (read as I’ve already got with most of them or their best mates). A new guy, a new guy I can’t read, for some reason excites me.
I got the impression that last weekend when we were in town that he was playing hard to get. He was being the girl; which was weird. But I must insist, he’s hot, so I didn’t care.
So what do you guys think? I need genuine advice on this one. Albus hasn’t read this yet but when he does he’s going to tell me to ‘stop ova finkin’ things and just go with the flow. But I don’t like the flow. The flow has left me marooned on an obscure island, starving for action. Like Tom Hanks but a bit of a slut.
Oh Tom, you dirty little minx.
Stay Sexy.
xAx
It's good preparation for all the fit dicks you'll meet at university. Sounds like a douchebag... but douchebags are fun. if that's all it stays at. "ova finkin fings" will land you in a tricky spot with a fit dick...
ReplyDeletePlus, once you master "playing it cool" it'll stand you in good stead for sorting the wheat from the chaf during Freshers.
Douchebags can be fun too, as long as you don't get too attached ;) x Again, cool picture.
ReplyDeleteThat makes complete sense!It sounds like a great book. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeletePrimary Vaginismus is God’s way of telling a woman that she is DESTINED to become a nun or celibate to keep the population down.
ReplyDeleteShe has a NUN'S VAGINA. God works in strange ways. I am now an enlightened man. Treating Vaginismus is against God's will.